Caring for Our Caregivers this Holiday Season

LINC encourages family caregivers to use T.H.A.N.K.S. to lower the stress on the holidays for those of us with anxiety, mental health challenges, neurodiversity, or dementia,

• Timing is important. Consider having Thanksgiving celebrations earlier in the day to maximize the ability to cope and make good decisions. It also minimizes the potential impact of fatigue and sundowning (a common syndrome among individuals living with dementia that can cause agitation and confusion in the late afternoon-early evening as the sun sets). Changes in daily routine could be challenging for those living with neurodivergence or dementia, so as much as possible, plan Thanksgiving around the person’s routine.

• Help familiarize your loved one. Prior to the gathering, acquaint your loved one with the guests who will be coming so they feel more in control. For those with dementia, show photos, share stories, and reminisce about past Thanksgivings. Try making an invitation to the event and then share it with your loved one to help orient them, and so they know all the details. Taking these steps can reduce anxiety.

• Ask for help. Relatives and friends are often eager to help and be involved but may not know how. If you’re hosting a celebration, give them specific tasks such as: asking them to bring a dish, to assist with cooking or shopping; to help with decorations; or to spend time with your loved one so that you can organize the gathering. 

• Notify guests beforehand. Consider sharing helpful information about your loved one’s current status and/or changed behaviors with guests—such things as ways to communicate with the person, what they will respond well to, and what may cause distress—especially if they have not seen the person recently. This will help to facilitate positive interactions and communication.

• Keep the person involved. Focus on what the person can and likes to do now rather than what they can no longer do and adapt activities accordingly. Helping prepare simple ingredients or dishes, implementing activities such as washing produce, preparing cranberry sauce, or putting desserts on a plate, can be pleasurable for someone who enjoys cooking. Making Thanksgiving decorations can be fun, creative, and cognitively stimulating for someone who likes arts and crafts. 

• Set aside a quiet space. Lively Thanksgiving gatherings with bustling activity and loud chatter (and cheering if watching football games on TV) can be overwhelming for all of us! Prepare a quiet place away from the crowd, with familiar comfort or activity items on-hand (such as a snack, favorite blanket, or puzzle) where the person can go if they need to retreat to a quiet and secure place.

Adapted from the Alzheimer’s Foundation email. Families who have questions about creating a dementia-friendly Thanksgiving celebration or any other question relating to dementia or caregiving can contact the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America’s Helpline, seven days a week, by phone (866-232-8484), text message (646-586-5283), or web chat (www.alzfdn.org).